Most difficult conversation

   What is the most difficult conversation you have ever had with a loved one? A lost job? An unplanned pregnancy? A required move? Deployment? There are so many things that we have to tell someone we love that we know will be painful but are necessary.
    I recently had the hardest, to date,  conversation with my husband: When the time comes, I want to be at home, not at hospice, not in the hospital. I want to be surrounded by the ones I love and amongst the things I consider beautiful. I want to be in my bed, in my room, in my house, with my family. I've thought about it for a long time, taking both scenarios into consideration.  Dying at hospice or in the hospital would be helpful to my family: no sad memories, the ability to leave the memory of something painful at the hospital or hospice instead of it being right there every day. I want to do this for them...make it easy for them. But for me, the thought of being somewhere like that, a place made to look like a home but functions as a place for the old and sick to go and die, is terrifying.
    So, I finally did it, I asked Jim how he felt. I told him that I wanted to be at home and with my loved ones. He told me he understood but then said he would sell the house because he couldn't stand to be in it. But I don't want that. I'm afraid that if he sells the house that he will forget about me. The new place he would go to would hold no memories of me and that terrifies me....to be forgotten.
    I continue to search for the right answer. And it may come down to the choice not being my own. In the end, I suppose, that however, wherever it happens, it will be right for me and my family.
Continue to Cherish Every Moment....You never know which one will be your last.


All my love to you.
xoxo

Things are always changing...

Hi everyone,


Day 2 of chemotherapy. It was originally all scheduled for next week but they asked if I would switch because of staffing. I should have said no: Jim is gone for six days but would have been in town for most of next week and my mom had already planned to come.  I guess on a brighter note, Ashleigh will be coming and helping me. Get groceries, meds, run errands for me, and just be there for me emotionally and spiritually. Of course, my little Brayden will be coming too!  I would so love to get Brayden and Ava together. It would be their first encounter!
I am starting a new store with cafepress.com and hope you will share the really cool stuff I plan to have on there with your friends. Even with insurance, medical care for a serious illness can be quite expensive at times plus I am hoping to help others with the profits. I'll post when the store is open!
I hope you have a wonderful afternoon. Tomorrow is Wednesday - halfway to FRIDAY, YAY!!
Cherish every moment and remember how much I love each and every one of you! xoxo