There are ALWAYS silver linings.

    It's Friday!! Yay! and it's Spring!! Yay!  How much better could it get? I absolutely love springtime. Everything is so new and alive. And it reminds me of how I am a part of a larger picture. A picture of beauty and strength, a picture of growing and renewing. I just know that this protocol is going to bring good changes.I can just feel it! I am reminded by my doctors that this will not be a cure....there is no cure...yet. But I would be perfectly happy with remission. Without feeling like every breath could be my last. It is such a horrible way to live.....in fear. I find that I keep everything in my life, Alex's life, the household, bills, just everything ready. For example, I keep a week's worth of Alex's medication sorted into a pill box plus I keep a list of everything with their generic and brand names, color and shape of pills, etc on a card with his medicines with times and days of administration.. I hate being so "OCD" or whatever someone might call it but it gives me comfort knowing that if something should happen that he is okay at least in the drug department (lol).
    I want to go outside and play in the dirt. Plant my plants. Pull out the weeds. Put down new mulch.  I think I have at least 20 plants/shrubs that need to be put in the ground.  Unfortunately, it's not going to be me doing any of it.  I have strict instructions and am unable for several reasons. The main reason is that my PICC line in my arm could become dislodged from its' perfect place near my heart. Directions say not to lift anything over 10 lbs and never lift my arm above my head (no, my armpit does not stink....I do manage to get deodorant on) and I must be careful stretching/reaching with that arm. If something were to happen to it, the one I have would have to be removed and a new one put in. Not fun. These "rules" affect every aspect of my life. Have you ever washed a load of clothes that weighs less than 10 lbs? Did you know that a gallon of milk weighs more than 10 lbs? But here comes the silver lining...... Jim and Alex have to help me!!  They don't mind. In fact, I think it helps them feel like they are doing something helpful. Hmmm......I'm thinking the toilet cleaning wand must be over 10 lbs too.
   Cherish every moment (even the moments spent cleaning the toilet). XOXO